To all those of you suffering withdrawal symptoms, here is a fun page from Mediterranean Living.
Find us at http://www.med-living.com
She was blonde and beautiful and it was her first time in the saddle.
The guy of her dreams had invited her to go horse riding with him, with stars in her eyes she had agreed.
Now it was just the two of them, slowly cantering along the beach.
Her body was alive with thoughts of making love in the gentle surf as it broke on the beach.
But then something frightened her goñden steed.
Sharply it veered off and picked up speed as it began to gallop out of control.
Faster and faster it sped, she hung on in fear of her life.
Then as quickly as it had started to run, the horse stopped and reared up, jigh on its hind legs.
She felt herself falling backwards with her foot caught in the stirrup, and she fell heavily, head first to the ground.
Her horse didn’t stop andh her head bounced on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down.
She felt herself losing consciousness…
Then her money ran out, she jumped off the roundabout and ran to the candy floss stall.
Which reminds me that taking Viagra like an attraction at Disneyland.
You have to wait an hour for a two minute ride!
My mate Ian is a kid at heart.
The other day he was in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
Every time he threw it into the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds then it comes crashing back down.
But Ian’s no quitter.
He persevered, throwing the kite and watching it nose dive into the ground.
So his wife is watching all this from the kitchen window.
Then the window opens and she yells to Ian, “You need more tail."
Ian turned slowly round, and through gritted teeth shouted, , "Make up yer ferkin mind, last night in bed you told me to go fly a kite!"
I was backstage at the theatre the other day, I just love the atmosphere just before curtain up.
We were putting on the ballet, The Nutcracker Suite. Just writing it makes my eyes water!
Anyway, all but two of the ballerinas were in costume early for the matinee performance.
At 1:55 the distressed director, flapping like a Prima Donna himself, asked these two ballerinas in the chorus why they were not yet in costume.
“It’s five minutes to curtain up”, he trilled.
If he’d flapped any more he would have taken off quicker than the curtain could rise!
So Cyntia looks at him haughtily and says, "I never dress until 1:58, bad luck you see"
His eyes flashing murderousñy through his eye-liner, he turned to other dancer and pouted, “And what about you, luvvey, don’t tell me you’re superstitious too?" he asked.
"Oh yes”, she flounced, her eyes showing absolute distaste, “I have a two to two tutu, too!”
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