med-living.com

Replaces med-liv.com
To all those of you suffering withdrawal symptoms, here is a fun page from Mediterranean Living.
Find us at http://www.med-living.com

She was blonde and beautiful and it was her first time in the saddle.

The guy of her dreams had invited her to go horse riding with him, with stars in her eyes she had agreed.

Now it was just the two of them, slowly cantering along the beach.

Her body was alive with thoughts of making love in the gentle surf as it broke on the beach.

But then something frightened her goñden steed.

Sharply it veered off and picked up speed as it began to gallop out of control.

Faster and faster it sped, she hung on in fear of her life.

Then as quickly as it had started to run, the horse stopped and reared up, jigh on its hind legs.

She felt herself falling backwards with her foot caught in the stirrup, and she fell heavily, head first to the ground.

Her horse didn’t stop andh her head bounced on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down.

She felt herself losing consciousness…

Then her money ran out, she jumped off the roundabout and ran to the candy floss stall.

Which reminds me that taking Viagra like an attraction at Disneyland.

You have to wait an hour for a two minute ride!

My mate Ian is a kid at heart.

The other day he was in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.

Every time he threw it into the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds then it comes crashing back down.

But Ian’s no quitter.

He persevered, throwing the kite and watching it nose dive into the ground.

So his wife is watching all this from the kitchen window.

Then the window opens and she yells to Ian, “You need more tail."

Ian turned slowly round, and through gritted teeth shouted, , "Make up yer ferkin mind, last night in bed you told me to go fly a kite!"

I was backstage at the theatre the other day, I just love the atmosphere just before curtain up.

We were putting on the ballet, The Nutcracker Suite. Just writing it makes my eyes water!

Anyway, all but two of the ballerinas were in costume early for the matinee performance.

At 1:55 the distressed director, flapping like a Prima Donna himself, asked these two ballerinas in the chorus why they were not yet in costume.

“It’s five minutes to curtain up”, he trilled.

If he’d flapped any more he would have taken off quicker than the curtain could rise!

So Cyntia looks at him haughtily and says, "I never dress until 1:58, bad luck you see"

His eyes flashing murderousñy through his eye-liner, he turned to other dancer and pouted, “And what about you, luvvey, don’t tell me you’re superstitious too?" he asked.

"Oh yes”, she flounced, her eyes showing absolute distaste, “I have a two to two tutu, too!”

med-liv.com is now med-living.com

Mediterranean Living magazine has now changed web address to:
http://www.med-living.com

Summer edition of Mediterranean Living is now online.

http://www.med-living.com

Mediterranean Living Magazinehas changed to http://www.med-living.com

Find us now at...
http://www.med-living.com


I'll write more when I resolve the situation, but be warned:

I renewed my domain name from a reseller of...
http://www.enom.com

The reseller has taken my money but not actioned my domain renewal.

I have contaced http://www.enom.com/ asking them to help, but all they do is refer me to the reseller.
http://www.enom.com/ have also bought the domain name I wanted which is great, but will not transfer it to me.

I have no option now but to recover my money from Paypal.

Watch this space...and be careful who you do business with on here.

Mike

Life's answers

Life's answers

My wife and I were sitting in a bar recently, and I must have been staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.
"Do you know her?", asked the wife.
"Yes," I sighed. "She’s an old girlfriend. She started drinking after we split up, years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since."
"Wow!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on Celebrating that long?"

At times like this, I think to myself, you could have married Cherie Blair mate!
But then I think, Cherie's worth a fortune.
I also hear she's the numero uno barrister for Human Rights in the UK.
Missed her vocation, with her looks it should have been animal rights.
Mind you, she got half way there when she married our Tone.
Did you hear Cherrie spouting off about how Tone is advising El Gordo how to win the next election.
That's a bit like asking the captain of the Titanic for sailing lessons.
It's no coincidence that Cherie has started talking to the press, her long awaited book has hit the shops earlier than planned.
Earlier than planned...that's marketing speak for "I got it out before the sh*t hit the fan"
You see, you can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but if the people don't speak English in the first place you can fool all of the people all of the time.
Tone is nobody's fool.
He has now realised that the number one money making business in the world is religion.
That's why we don't hear too much from him at the moment.
He's a Protestant convert to Catholicism already.
I now believe that we will shortly see the Reverend, Father, Rabbi, Imam Pope Tone the 1st as the next Queen of England.

Do you ever wonder about life?
I do.
All the strain, all the pain, and then…nothing.
You die.

But I’ve been thinking.
Maybe, just maybe, someone got it all wrong.
People talk about the Great Architect of life, what if he had the plans upside down?
It does happen.

Maybe what we call negatives in photography are really positives.
We’d all walk around black and white.

And the Earth.
Maybe we should be living inside, not outside.
In one stroke we’d do away with global warming and ozone layers.
No more heating bills.
Aeroplanes would be built to fly in water.
Space would start on the surface.
It all makes sense.
All we’d have to worry about was that no one pulled the plug, the inside of the Earth would fill with water.

And life itself.
We go through the hassle of existing, and what happens at the end.
Nothing…we die.
But what if we started off dead.
First thing we’d know is waking up in an old people’s home, feeling better every day.
You’d know things could only get better.
Then they’d kick you out for being too young and healthy, you could then start collecting your pension, then, all of a sudden when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You’d work for forty years feeling better all the time.
You’d feel fitter, younger, and full of life.
Your teeth would fall back in, you’d de-bald and other parts of you, if you’re a man, would start looking up again.
The longer it went on the more virile you’d get.
One long party until you’re ready to start school.
You graduate on your first day, snog all the girls you could find, and get ready for junior school.
There you’d become a kid, play all day long, no responsibilities, and “George” would be peeking out all day long.
As time went on you’d leave school to become a playschool kid.
Then as you got even younger, oh happy days.
You’d live in centrally heated luxury, nothing to do but sleep and play with boobs all day long.
Your food on tap.
You wouldn’t even have to get up to go the bathroom.
Then someone would turn the lights of and you’d spend your last 9 months in warm peaceful sleep.
And then one day, when your time had really come…you’d finish your life as an orgasm.
Go out with a bang!

http://www.med-living.com

Mediterranean Living Magazinehas changed to http://www.med-living.com

Find us now at...
http://www.med-living.com


I'll write more when I resolve the situation, but be warned:

I renewed my domain name from a reseller of...
http://www.enom.com

The reseller has taken my money but not actioned my domain renewal.

I have contaced http://www.enom.com/ asking them to help, but all they do is refer me to the reseller.
http://www.enom.com/ have also bought the domain name I wanted which is great, but will not transfer it to me.

I have no option now but to recover my money from Paypal.

Watch this space...and be careful who you do business with on here.

Mike